Mouthy Cat

The cat image was sourced from Pinterest.




What are you looking at?

I’ve had a hell of a night, scratching my arse all over the carpet. Why don’t ya get somethin softer for tha floor? I see ya get yarself the soft stuff.

An what tha hell is that in my bowl? It smells… Funny.  I think I’ll be eatin what you’re havin tonight.

No you say?

Well guess I’ll have to jump back up on the cupboard and give your teaspoon another lick, after I have a lick at your… My morning coffee that is, then, well I thought I might show the other cat… where to get a nice long piece of wheat grass, that came inside on a fire log this morning.

You know how she just loves to eat… And eat… And eat those long grasses… Until it tickles tha back of er throat and she just chucks it up.

That shit’ll keep you,  up all night.

My water could do with a change and someone left a dead mouse in the cat bickies. Who’s gonna clean that shit up? I can’t eat bickies covered in mouse.

It’s a lie ya know, we cats don’t like mice. Yeah, sure, they’re fun ta chase and flip around the room for a while, but then they just stop playin, an then, well, I guess someone, not me, thought they’d put their toy way in the bicky container.

Not that that the bickies hadn’t started to get stale or anything?


I see your’e opening a new packet of whateverthafuck that is for yourself? It looks disgustin, but at least ya know it fresh

Hey human? I’m not judging or anything, I’m just saying.

Well, it’s been a long mornin, I thinks I shall just sit over in the sun until I get too hot

Than I might stretch ma way over the arm of the couch, stop, have a little chuck then go curl up on your bed, while I lie there an cough up a fur-ball or two.

An what are ya gonna do about it?

Nothin, that’s what ya gonna do. Cause I’m too cute.

Your’e gonna clean up my chuck, put my mouse toy away, give me fresh bickies and just as your’e giving my litter a little clean, I’ll just sit in it as you pour it in. Then I’m a gonna go shit under your bed.

And tomorrow? Tomorrow we’ll do it all again

Now, my wet food is empty! Feed me human.

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